Wednesday, 29 February 2012

A quiet morning - now when the family has left the house...A silence you can hear ...I have experienced so much in recent years.

Now a new chapter begins.

The first steps on the shaman path are behind me since long time ago. Now I'm standing on top of a hill looking out over both past and future.

The shaman way leads through the darkness to the light. The wounded healer. I do not feel hurt. I let go of what has happened before. Only remember the beautiful moments. I always have been like that. I have to reflect on the past to face the darkness that was there. That is how it should be. Why would you carry around old things, finished and healed?

Yet there they were. The near death experience that everyone is talking about talking shamanism. Heavy days and nights, heavy with memories and sorrows. So as there are for many people, yet different.

I experienced on a different way. I was conscious also on the other side. I heard things, I did not understand by myself, from my friends out there. The spirit shaman, forest elves and others, very helpful friends, who through insights helped me to heal.

Each shaman has his own way, makes his own footsteps on the path of life. Why would they be the same if we are so different?I experience myself as a person with a great deal guidance and protection from the very beginning. Maybe I look at myself in this way because I had such a great original trust in me since childhood.

When I was a young woman, just 19 years, expressed a friend  that she was surprised that I always assumed that everything would be fine in the end. I had such enormous confidence.

Of course, I had survived, just two years earlier ... Perhaps that affects my experience of reality. I faced death and left him behind me.

Perhaps that is why many people worked on making me lose confidence. Makes me "realize" that I need to do much more on my one. I should not "put that into my head" that I always just could ask for help and get it too ...

Oh yes, that's exactly what I still have in my head. They could not get that out of me. I ask for help and I get it.

I live with a deep gratitude, an enormous gratitude, humility and respect. Gratitude for my confidence never breaking down and for my receiving so much help every day in my life.

Gratitude also for me having the pleasure to convey this to other people through my work and for allowing me to pass on help so many times and with it a little bit or maybe a great deal of confidence.

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