That life is not easy, probably most of us know
That lingers in a victims role don't make life happier or more fun
However, it is sooo hard to see the boat from outside while sitting in it
Some can
Others believe they can
Others just do it without thinking

The next time it is probably time to face the facts and start looking at yourself and what you do
No there is nothing wrong with ALL of the others
That would really astonish me  :o)
All others can't be malfunctioning

When people have gone through traumas in life, it's not so obvious for them to see other
Know how another person feels and what the person needs has often drowning in your own feelings that get into the center
To realize that there is a weakness you have is hard when you are sitting in the victims boat
In that boat, there is only one starting position
It is like wearing glasses there and everywhere you look you can just see that others fail and what others are doing wrong

Getting close to a person with trauma in baggage is not always easy
Quite often they live out abusive behaviors in other directions based on the glasses giving an inaccurate picture 
Quite often their own feelings get into the spotlight that they become obstacles in the way of to see other people's feelings and needs

It's just that it's hard when you have wounds
There is no one who accuses but you perceive it like that
Nobody wants to offend but it happens

Nobody wants to live out abusive behaviors when they are in their own worst memories
No one wants to do that to a loved one, perhaps a child, a man or a woman, a friend
Why does this happen then?
Yes because it is an open wound that needs to heal and sometimes we need help to see the wound before it can be healed
You approach a person who is hurt, you need to know that pain is blinding

Have you wounds so you need to know that those who love you can not just remain silent
Those who love you for real they will poke into the wound and they will not accept anything
But they will be there for you always no matter how bad it was and how little you can see from your seat in the boat

But they may not remain there at all times just closed by
Sometime maybe they need to take distance to wait you out
Maybe just a moment, one hour or a day
Maybe for longer
Maybe because they need to protect others or themselves for not someone else will be damaged
Don't wait until it has gone so far!
Take the hand that offers and don't bite it!